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An unbiased view of each game to be taken tongue in cheek! BASEMENT BATTLE ENDS IN VICTORY FOR THE VILLAGERS Report by B Cormack Top Joes ended their campaign with a defeat to Seaview. Joes began their quest for points in the final league match of the season minus Willie Budge who was having difficulty providing a urine sample (makes a change from him taking the piss, get it??), Les Mackay who was away to get sheared, Archie Cameron who was frantically trying to get up the road in time for the All You Can Eat Buffet at the Upper Deck and William Smith who was away watching an even less successful side than Joes. This resulted in a return to the Joes squad, and in fact starting line up, for ex-club Captain Michael Wilson. Starting line up Eduardo in nets, Michael and Bruce in defence, Andy on the right, Kev C in the middle, Kev T on the left and Panda Bear kept his place up front after Monday night’s goal. Subs for the evening were Calum and Sponge. TO THE MATCH An end-to-end match it certainly was and Joes started with the wind at their backs. However, Seaview took the lead when their number seven lost his marker and cracked a volley home at the back post. Joes marched straight to the other end and an equaliser followed with Panda finishing with his right foot into the top corner. Seaview made it 2-1 shortly after but Kev T hit an excellent strike to make it 2-2. Andy made way for Calum and Seaview soon made it 3-2 just on half time. The only other point of note was a booking for Michael Wilson after a clash with a Seaview midfielder. HALF TIME Seaview 3-2 Bottom Joes Sponge replaced Panda at the start of the half, and making an almost immediate impact, Seaview made it 4-2. Ed Miller suffered a heavy knock shortly after in a 50-50 challenge but battled on bravely as Andy had gone home by now! Calum came on for Kev T then Kev returned to the fray later. Sponge got a consolation near the end but with three minutes left on the clock, Joes couldn’t get another goal to level things off. As a result of JGC’s victory over Staxigoe, Joes fell to third bottom as a result of this. FULL TIME Seaview 4-3 Joes MAN OF THE MATCH AS CHOSEN BY HERR COWIE - Panda Bear.
COMMENT FROM THE PITCH - End to end match played in blustery conditions did not help for flowing football but let’s hope we can get back on track in the cup match with Junior Swifts next week. Disappointing end to the league campaign, we must become more vocal and work harder to try to prevent the silly mistakes we are making. Joes beaten by young Staxigoe Side Report by W Smith Joes faced a selection problem with many key players missing. Willie Budge is away on a weeks A.I. course, Michael Wilson who has not been seen in a Joes shirt this year, Archie ‘I use my mums hair products’ Cameron who has gone back to being a sponging student, Les Mackay missing again through work commitments. Kevin Cowie missed out as well, there are rumours that he may be romancing again but these are unconfirmed. Calum Mackay returned to the squad after missing out last week through a foot injury giving Joes a Squad of eight players!! Joes lined up with Ed in goal, Veterans Bruce and Andy in defence, and midfield trio of Skipper Spongy, Calum Mackay and Big Kev T, Panda played upfront. Wills started himself on the bench despite the protests of 7’s Chairman Willie Cannop who commented “U hev 2 goals this year, 1 mar and ull hev 3”!!! Genius!! Staxigoe started the game well with Peter Niwa coming close with a drive after attacking downing the Joes right. Joes were playing some nice stuff, playing some neat one-touch stuff but were caught on the break as Grant McNab was played in down the right and he coolly slotted the ball past Ed in the Joes net. Joes came close to an equaliser when Spongy’s free kick (actually it was a kick in Wills!) from the halfway line beat the Staxigoe keeper but bounced back into play of the post! Despite the 1 goal lead that Staxigoe had, the game was quite even with most of the game being played in the midfield. Ed Miller had to save smartly to deny Staxigoe small striker Jack (he could do with some magic beans) who managed to lose his marker Cormack (I was scared to boot him!) and get a shot away that looked to be heading in the bottom corner until Ed got a hand to it. The second half again started with Staxigoe again pressing hard and struck again about 5 minutes in to the second half. A powerful shot that Ed could only parry landed at the feet of Grant McNab who coolly slotted home his second. This spurred on Joes and they started pushing forward to try and snatch a goal. Doing this allowed Staxigoe defender Ben Taylor to stride forward and unleash an unstoppable shot that some how crept in at Ed’s near post. 3-0 Staxigoe!! Calum Mackay came close after his run down the left his shot beat the keeper and trundled along the goal line. Panda then made way for Wills how slotted in to Kev T’s right wing position with the Big Kev being moved forward to lead the line. Being 3-0 down, Joes went a bit gung-ho and this saw Bruce Cormack making a couple of Lannon-type runs down the right wing. Panda somehow managed to get Kev T off the park and sneaked back on. Following this Cormack on one of his runs down the wing found Panda (who managed to stay on his feet this time) who finished well on his weaker foot. 3-1 Staxigoe. The last action of the game saw Grant McNab complete his hat trick after good work from the even smaller striker Staxigoe had put on. 4-1 Staxigoe!! In the end the score didn’t really tell the story of the game as Joes also had their chances but as with last week they weren’t getting the rub of the green. Men of the Match – Andy and Bruce, 10 years ago these to would have made a mean defence, doing the job now thou!!
Top Six dream is over as JGC weld a victory Joe’s erratic form continued last night with a lacklustre display against the league’s bottom team. While Joes did little wrong, they did little right either. The game could be summed up with two goalkeeping errors, a poor final ball as well as the JGC keeper having a fine game. There was an eerie atmosphere at the Naver arena with few people on the touchline and a definite end of season feel. A pre-match blow for Joes was the loss of midfield workhorse, Calum Mackay. The playmaker was unavailable last night and it was clear the loss of his work ethic had an effect on the match. Without his tireless running the back two of Cormack and Lannon were slightly exposed. While Cowie deputised in the centre of midfield, he struggled to fill Mackay’s shoes. Les Mackay was a notable absence from the squad last night. Lesley was still smarting after being dropped last week for Cormack and has vowed never to play for the Joes again this season. On the plus side, if that’s the correct word, Archibald Cameron returned to the squad to add a bit of weight to the attack. Thankfully Archibald had time to straighten his fringe before the football. Long term absentee Michael Wilson was still missing last night and his absence is now being felt by the team. On a fine night for football, Joes played down the hill 1st half and started with confidence having played well against Sharks last week. With the lions share of the possession Joes were not really creating a lot. A mazy run from Cameron saw him beat a couple of men but lose his footing as he took his shot and the ball went just wide. Cowie then founbd Sponge on thew left, the captain charged down the wing before firing in a low cross which Cameron was just pipped to by the JGC defender. The corner from Sponge saw Cowie rise and power a great header into the bottom corner only to find the JGC keeper in great form. JGC then threaten but it would be Joes who would come closer soon after when a corner was played back by Cowie and Kev T was very unlucky with a vicious dipping drive which went just over. Joes were on the ascendancy but couldn't make it count. Cowie was next to challenge and a lung bursting run saw him pull the trigger just as the JGC defender made a last ditch tackle. Soon after a mazy run saw Lannon foul and from the resultant free-kick which was a good distance out, the shot managed to find its way through to Miller who couldn't hold it and the ball squirmed over the line. JGC were in front and held the lead until half-time. Joes started the 2nd half with renewed vigour and a long range shot from Sponge was followed by a fine piece of football from Joes ending with Sponge on the corner of the box seeing his effort slip just past the post. The wind was soon taken out of Joes' sails soon after though. Sponge was dispossessed in midfield and a neat passage of play from two JGC attackers saw a shot at Miller's near post yet again squirm past him. Joes were two down and with it so did the heads go down. Although they did have their chances to get back in the match. A ball played from Miller saw Cormack find smith. The co-manager powered forward and a great though ball saw Cowie very unlucky to be beaten to it by the JGC keeper. Following this saw Cameron out on the right wing. A cut back saw Budge cross and Cowie was again unlucky to see his powerful header just over the bar. A poor corner from Budge was then played back to him by Sponge and his 2nd shot was saved by the keeper and hit the post before trundling along the goal line and cleared by the JGC defence. JGC were still causing problems at the back but any chance of a consolation goal seemed to pass when substitute Panda was one on one with the keeper and decided to dive headlong onto the Naver pitch, unbelievable! Then came perhaps the biggest shock of the night or even season. A Sponge corner was played out to Kev T on the right. The bodybuilding Treasurer then found Cormack who sent a rasping drive into the near post. Whether it was on target or not, the JGC keeper parried it and Joes won a corner. However that was to be the end of the action and Joes could now be caught by all teams below them in the League. Man of the Match (chosen by Kev Cowie) - Bruce Cormack because he headed the ball twice.
Sharks bite back for second time as Joes have to settle for draw In the first of four rearranged fixtures Joes faced the in-form sharks for the second time in as many weeks. Unfortunately the same story unfolded. Joes 2 ahead and coasting but this time at least a point was won. A major blow pre-match was the news keeper Ed Miller had broken a finger nail and didn’t pass himself fit to play. On the upside, Lesley Mackay came back into the squad after his enforced absence last week. The missing Miller was replaced in goal by Mr Dependable, Andy Lannon, a man who is sure to feature in the end of season Joes awards. Following on from his cup heroics, Lannon again showed he can be firmly relied upon in Miller’s absence. There was also help on the sidelines from old stager Gigi Lowe, who had various words of wisdom to pass onto the players. Whether they took one bit of notice is another thing. A surprise in the selection of the starting team was the inclusion of pacy front man Cormack instead of the bodybuilding Les Mackay. However the management team confirmed this was due to Cormack’s confidence being sky high after his Radio Remedy competition win. Although judging by his performance last night, his mind appeared to be off the job as he contemplated how to “spend” the £20 voucher. As the rain lashed down, Sharks kicked off with Joes playing up the slope. Sharks started briskly and Lannon had to look lively after only a minute and pulled off a brilliant save two minutes later when he parried a strong shot. Joes were taking their time to settle and sharks played very well in the opening ten. The defensive pairing of smith and Cowie were coping fairly well but Lannon was certainly earning his crust in goal. Twice Cowie was left exposed with 2 on 1 and 3 on 1 scenarios but thankfully for Joes, the sharks final ball did not match their build up play. Just as it seemed Joes had weathered the storm, disaster struck when Sharks opened the scoring with a long range shot from the angle of the box. It was a cruel one to take but thankfully the heads did not go down. Cormack was then replaced with Big Les entering the fray to ruffle a few feathers. The change soon paid off when Stevie Macdonald added another goal to his ever increasing tally and Joes were back on level terms. Joes continued to play well with Kev T yet again doing a power of work down the right flank. Stevie MacDonald created a couple of chances after pushing up from the left and linking well with Les Mackay. As half-time approached it seemed that Joes were going to come in all square, a score line all connected to Joes would have been fairly happy with. However the man they call Sponge had other ideas. A fine strike from young MacDonald saw him put Joes ahead. No sooner had the Joes faithful recovered than the biggest shock of the night came only a minute before half-time. Smith on a break away up front strode forward and unleashed a terrific shot which nestled in the Sharks net and Joes came in at the break with a two goal cushion. The 2nd half saw Joes kick-off down the slope with Budge on for Calum Mackay with Les Mackay dropping back to a midfield role. Joes had been here before, a two goal cushion against Sharks. The last time it was thrown away and unfortunately Joes did not build on their two goal lead this time. Budge had a great chance to put the game beyond doubt after turning his marker but the Sharks keeper made a fine close range shot. Joes had a fine 10 minute spell at the start of the 2nd half but crucially failed to finish Sharks off. Cormack then replaced Budge with himself and soon after Les Mackay departed the play. Joes seemed to lose their shape with the loss of Mackay and soon after Sharks were right back in the game. Pegged back to 3-2, it seemed like only a matter of time before Sharks would equalise and so it proved. With Joes still all at sea, sharks found their equaliser and then began searching for their winner. It was like a case of deja vu, and with only a minute remaining a goal bound effort from a Sharks midfielder ricocheted off Sponge and safely past the post. In the last play of the match, Calum took a dull thud to the head which resulted in him shouting an obscenity, although unsure who it was directed at, the general consensus was it must have been Gigi Lowe!! Joes had held out for a point against the League’s in-form team. Whilst a draw would have been taken before the match, there was much disappointment that a two goal lead against the Sharks had been thrown away yet again. Co-Managers Comments – Some good play, Kev T and Spongy especially, but no MOTM awards when you throw away a 2 goal lead for the 2nd time
Smith goes from hero to Villain in one week After being a hero against the Junior Swifts in Joes’ last match, co-manager Wills Smith was the sinner this time. With his team a goal down and the goal at his mercy, he managed to slide the ball past the post with his right foot effort. He could have been forgiven if it was on his left, his weaker foot. However on a fine night for football at Naver with a swirling wind, Joes were to leave empty handed having put a lot of effort into the match. There was a pre-match blow when front man Les Mackay was called away to an emergency at his work and missed the match. Lesley has since confirmed that once he finds out the identity of the person who left the photocopier on, they will be severely reprimanded. Nearly adding to the woes was an injury picked up by keeper Ed Miller during a warm-up exercise in the dressing room. The cause of the injury and nature have been withheld by team boss Cowie, but reports said a ball or balls were both used and abused. Further reports that keeper Miller had leaked the Joes line-up to the Naver management team were refuted by the lad from Buckies. Whilst the wind was not a problem last night for the most of the Joes players, young Kev Treasurer was blown about a bit with the heavier gusts. Prolific striker Archibald Cameron has now left the club to follow a career in street fighting in Aberdeen. As this report went to press, it seems his career has not started too well….. Joes started the match playing up the hill and into the wind. Whilst Naver had the bulk of the possession in the early stages, Joes were adjusting to the conditions well. The Naver chances were kept at a premium and a deflection saw Lannon making a goal line clearance when a Naver goal seemed inevitable. Some mazy runs from the ever improving Treasurer was taking some of the pressure off the back two of Cowie and Lannon. Cormack was the sole plougher up front and whilst he didn’t see a lot of the ball he did hold it up well the chance arose. Joes luck was to run out after 10 minutes when a swipe by Miller saw the ball run through to Lannon who inadvertently put the ball through his own goal. Nothing should be taken away from Andy as this was an exquisite finish and on which Club Captain Wilson would have been proud of. Young Andy made up for his own goal a short time later when he cleared yet another “goal” off the line to keep Joes in the hunt. With Joes looking well placed to come in at the break only a goal down, Co-Manager Cowie had other ideas. A barnstorming run from the big defender saw him collect a perfect through ball from Cormack and Cowie placed the ball in the corner of the net to leave Naver shaking their heads in disbelief, along with the Joes bench. With 2 minutes remaining of the first half, Joes shut up shop thereafter and came in all square at the interval. The 2nd half saw Budge replace the tired Cormack up front. With the wind now on their backs Joes came into the game and created a few chances. A mazy run from Budge saw him beat a couple of Naver challenges only to undo all his good work with a dreadful effort which could hardly even be described as a shot. However the tide was turning Joes way and a big breakaway saw Sponge MacDonald on the counter attack after a Naver corner. With a Naver defender on his tail, Sponge bottled it and scuffed his shot. Unbelievably this was to his advantage as the Naver keeper completely missed and the ball nestled in the back of the net. With wind advantage Joes now looked favourites to go forth and neat Naver for the first time. Unfortunately the lead was short lived and a Naver shot took a wicked deflection off substitute Panda and a ED Miller dived to save the shot one way, the ball went the other way. It was cruel on Joes just as they had got their noses in front. More heartbreak was to follow as a through ball saw Miller charge way off his line and call for the ball. Unfortunately the ball was missed although the Buckies bull did manage to nail his defender Lannon but Foubister was on hand to poke the ball home for what turned out to be the winner for Naver. Lannon took no further part in proceedings but will hope fully be fit for Thursdays match against sharks. In the dying minutes came Smith’s chance as mentioned earlier and does not need to be mentioned again…… However with only seconds remaining, a mistake by the Naver keeper saw him pick the ball up. An indirect free kick ensued but Cormack, back on for the injured Lannon, decided to pass the ball to Cowie even although Calum was in a much better position. The shot was blocked and the final whistle blew soon after. A fine performance from the lads who worked hard throughout the game and were certainly very unlucky no to at least have taken a point if not more. Ratings & Comments by B Cormack
MAN OF THE MATCH - Kevin Treasurer. He saves his energies for the match rather than the workplace and it showed with his best 7s performance of the campaign. COMMENT FROM AN UNNAMED PLAYER by the name of Bruce Cormack A much improved performance from our last match with Naver unfortunately wasn’t enough to take anything from the match. We let ourselves down with a couple of errors for 2 of the goals but the heads never dropped and we always looked like taking something from the game. Our communication needs to improve, but if we keep putting the effort in, we can finish the campaign on a high. Coach Comments – Very good performance again from the lads. Very unlucky not to get at least a point. Difficult to pick but Kev T is man of the match.
SAS save Cormack’s blushes
The only change at half-time saw Budge replace Mackay. The 2nd half was similar to the 1st as Joes continued to keep possession well and Lannon making a number of strong challenges. The back appeared to be winning every 50/50 challenge which in no doubt made Miller's job in the nets fairly simple. In fact from what could have been expected to be a very busy night for Miller turned out to be one of his quietest. Credit goes to the lads in defence as well as the midfield trio who kept working throughout the game. however at 1 nil a game is never safe and having thrown a 2 goal lead against Sharks, Joes ware now wary. However the lead was extended 5 minutes into the 2nd half. A long ball forward saw Budge somehow control the ball for a change and with time and space found Sponge with a diagonal ball and the teams top scorer made it, by his count, double figures for the season. From here on in Joes appeared to be on easy street. Kev T continued to skin defenders as he does every week in training. The passing by the team was probably the best it has been all season. At 2 goals to the good there was always that Sharks memory but in the end it was a comfortable 2-0 win for the Joes and with 5 games left there is still hope Joes can climb further up the table. Well done to all the lads for a fine performance. Ed Miller – Once again had little to do as his defence kept the Juniors out (7) Andy Lannon – Brilliant performance from the young lad. Extremely strong in the tackle and always on the lookout to take a pass. Managed a number of now trademark runs from the back. (9) Kev Cowie – Kept Reid very quiet in the 2nds half and another assured defensive display from wee Kev. Fine partnership developing with Lannon (8) Kev T – Possibly his best game in a Joes shirt? Continually beat his man with ease and tracked back well (8) Sponge MacDonald – Apparently he's now scored 10 for the season but this has not been verified by anyone other than Sponge. Another fine performance from the Captain without the armband (8) Calum Mackay – Built on some good runs from the Gers game and not fouled quite so much in this game (7) Les Mackay – Must have felt aggrieved at losing his starting slot to the aging Cormack but didn't let it show (7) Willie Budge – didn't manage to add to his scoring tally but will be pleased to stay ahead of Cormack in the goals scored and goals set-up tables (6) Bruce Cormack – got the nod up front from the start as the management team went for pace. Will still be having nightmares years from now over THAT miss(7) Wills Smith – What can you say, the lad is on fire, must be knocking at the door for a starting berth this week. (7.5) Man of the Match – Yet again a number of contenders but Andy Lannon shades it for some magnificent tackling and running.
Coach Comments - Great overall performance from the Joes. Hope we can keep this up. 1 of the main reasons for 2 clean sheets is man of the match Andy Lannon. Come on e Joes!
Return of the Mac not enough to inspire Joes to win The long awaited return of Lesley Mackay came to fruition last night as the bold swoop from the Co-managers saw the legend return. One bystander was heard to say “all they need now is Gigi, Doshie and Gordie to make a team of legends”. There was also a 7’s debut for Michael “Panda” Cameron. This was Panda’s first run out in 7 months after a leg break in 11’s football. There was also much relief in the dressing room prior to the match with the news that Ed Miller’s sacred Aberdeen hat had been found safe and well. However his team-mates were shocked to hear it was not found at Naver where he had lost it. The said hat had somehow managed to be blown to the fuse box at Buckies in the storms which hit Caithness last month. So the match kicked off with Joes looking for revenge for the 4-1 loss in the corresponding fixture in late December. With precisely 16.21 seconds on the clock, Big Les made sure his comeback did not go unnoticed. His 1st tackle of the season as well as the 1st free-kick awarded against him this season. The opening exchanges were fairly even with Rangers having a half-hearted appeal for a penalty closely followed by Calum Mackay’s ghosting run to the back post nearly seeing him put Joes ahead after a great ball in from Sponge on the left. Mackay followed this miss with an almost identical one only a few minutes later. Joes were limiting Rangers to few chances with Cowie and Lannon in inspired form at the back. In fact Ed Miller was having a quiet night by his standards. The next action saw a crude challenge by Rangers’ MacGregor on Calum Mackay which saw Mackay come down with a bump and a yellow card for the Rangers man. Les Mackay was perhaps lucky not to follow him in the book for a trademark tackle before being replaced by Budge. There was an eagerness about Joes last night and this was proved by Budge who tried to enter the fray without Big Les even leaving it. Joes continued to make inroads with the ever industrious Treasurer and hard working MacDonald doing well in midfield. However half-time came with the sides still locked in stalemate. The 2nd half opened with the introduction of veteran Bruce Cormack up front to add a bit of pace. In fact this game was to see Cormack come close to opening his account for the season after he went for glory from a kick in and somehow managed to hit the post! The fact sponge MacDonald was unmarked at the back post is probably irrelevant. A through ball saw Cormack once again through with a good chance but in the end he was crowded out by Gers defenders although his blistering pace just about got him released of their shackles. Sponge was the next Joes attacker to come close. With a breakaway of 3 on 2 Sponge looked odds on to net his ninth of the season. However Mowat in the Gers nets was up to the task and the chance was gone. Gers were not creating too much and anything that did come their way was ably dealt with by Miller. Another attack saw substitute Smith win the ball in midfield and another 3 on 2 situation ensued. In what seemed like an eternity, Smith strode forward with the ball unchallenged. However his shot was not quite as good as his lead up play and again the chance was gone. A couple of wayward Gers efforts ended up outside the Naver arena. After a ball was retrieved the feat was repeated and Joe’s co-manager Smith who had come off with a groin injury refused to retrieve the ball. This was even although it was Joes’ turn. The Gers bench seemed rather perturbed by this and even more so when their keeper had to run to retrieve the ball. Kev T was now tiring in the midfield engine room and was replaced by Calum. However Mackay was only on the field 12.87 seconds when a dull thud to the head saw him concussed and having to leave the field. Kev returned to the fray a few minutes later when Calum had stopped seeing double. Panda replaced the tiring Cormack up front but neither team could find a breakthrough in the last five minutes and the game ended in stalemate. A fine performance from the lads who certainly deserved a point and probably all three. Ed Miller – cut a more relaxed figure last night with the return of his hat. Didn’t have too much to do but coped well with anything that came his way (7) Andy Lannon – Caused some concern to his team-mates before the match by not sporting a hat. Performance typified by a lung bursting over lap run down the right wing late in the 2nd half. (8) Kev Cowie – Solid as ever at the back and the co-manager led by example, always in the right place at the right time. (8) Kev T – The big man put in a power of work last night and just as he thought he was getting a breather he was back on for the concussed Mackay (8) Sponge MacDonald – Will be kicking himself he never moved up the League scoring charts but did some fantastic tracking back when his defenders needed him (8) Calum Mackay – Work rate is improving and continues to be Joes’ most fouled player. Unlucky after his runs got him into good positions at the back post. (7) Les Mackay – The talisman made a welcome return added some power up front. Even went to the bother of getting a haircut for the event as well. (7) Willie Budge – His 3 days drinking session didn’t seem to help his performance and needs to improve to keep his place on the bench. (6) Bruce Cormack – Back on the bench as Joes no longer short of numbers but did well when he came on in the 2nd half. Will be disappointed to have had so many half-chances and not put at least one away. (7) Michael Cameron – Wasn’t on for long on his return to football but showed some good touches and will only improve with games (6) Wills Smith – The Co-manager made a brief appearance in the 2nd half and played some decent stuff but came off with a groin injury although it was unconfirmed if this happened during the game. (6) Man of the Match – A close call between the two defenders and the stand-in captain but Sponge just shades it after his all-round performance.
Comment from the ex manager A good battling team performance saw us unfortunately secure just the one point. We shaded the first half but although they had a lot more possession second half, we could have finished them off had we had a better final ball or done better in ones on ones..... However, their keeper deserves great credit for his shot stopping and for retrieving the ball when nobody else would......The signings of Les Mackay and Michael Cameron were certainly a welcome boost and credit must go to the management "team" for pulling off such audacious moves in the transfer window. Will more follow before Wednesday's deadline?? Personally, I'd like to see a swoop for Gordy "Lock up your daughters" Murray who would rival Kevin Treasurer for the Strongman role in midfield......
Last Five Shark Attack ends Joes Hopes The first game of 2007 finished in a tale of "So near but yet so far." In an extraordinary end to the game, Joes were to lose the lead and three goals in the last five minutes. After two weeks of call-offs in the New Year, it was third time lucky as decent weather saw a full round of 7's matches. However, the lengthy layoff did not speed the return of club captain Michael Wilson who was still unavailable due to him attending night classes on "The beginners guide to Pampers." First choice front man Archibald Cameron was also absent as he was in Barcelona for an audition to take the lead role in the next Goal! movie. There was some exciting news on the transfer front for followers of Joes. In a move ssimilar to Celtic's move for Geoff Horsefield, there were unconfirmed reports that Top Joes are in the market to make a bid for former fans favourite Lesley Mackay. The Co-managers would make no comment on the speculation but smith did point out that Mackay's experience in the weight lifting area may be beneficial to young Treasurer. Although the long layoff could have threatened to dent the prolific scoring touch of the team's top scorer, Steve MacDonald, it seems young Sponge has continued his rich vein of form throughout the postponement of 7's games. He was last seen wandering around the Hill of Forss area last Sunday morning somewhat disorientated. So as the first match of 2007 kicked off Joes went
in search of their first win with Wills Smith present on the touchline.
Sharks certainly had most of the possession in the first half and although
Miller was regularly called into action, the saves were bread and butter
to the big lad from Buckies. Although once he had the Joes faithfuls
hearts in mouths as he made a run from his line and once he had lost
possession decided to take as long as possible to return to his line.
He seemed rather unconcerned that Sharks were on the attack at the time.
However nothing came of it and Joes continued to keep a clean sheet whilst
not really troubling the Sharks defence as young MacDonald struggled to
keep his feet although he did live up extremely well to his Bambi on Ice
title! A fairly uneventful first half ended with the deadlock yet to
be broken.
Players ratings and comments by Joes Living Legend - Gigi lo Lowe Ed Miller Outstanding from start to finish. Dealt with almost everything thrown at him. No chance with goals. (9) Bruce Midfielder in defensive position. Caught out too often on wrong side of attacking players.(6) Andy Plenty of running but caught out at times when opponents made quick break. (6) Kevin C Unusually poor game. More suited in defence. (6) Spongy Struggled on slippery surface. Needs to show more aggression. (6) Calum Tries too hard with fancy footwork. Needs to concentrate on simple football. (5) Wills Good shift from the keen as ever substitute. (6) William Always looking interested but game seemed to pass him by all too often. (6) Kevin T Tireless running but needs to concentrate on better positioning and ‘bully’ opposition into making mistakes to capitalise on. (6) Man of the Match - Ed Miller Overall team performance was average. Plenty room for improvement. Little or no communication and tired drastically near the end to concede goals.
Joes get the blues for Christmas From the best performance to the worst performance of the season in a week. That would be the only way to describe Joes match against Thurso Rangers. After a brilliant team performance against RG’s, Joes were awful against the Gers. This was a team who had lost their previous five games quite convincingly. Yet they simply ran Joes off the park, especially in the first half. Sadly Joes contributed to their own downfall by giving their opponents far too much space and time on the ball. Joes were certainly without the influential veterans Wilson and last week’s man of the match Cormack but should still have had enough to dispose of Thurso Rangers, fellow strugglers in the 2nd Division. Martin “Yug” Mackay did make a return to the fold but whilst he gave a good account of himself, he couldn’t stop the Joes being thrashed. The match started fairly evenly until a cross come shot was somehow bundled into the net by Adam Sutherland. The heads immediately went down and within the next 15 minutes Joes had lost a further two goals and found themselves 3 down. Archie Cameron was then unlucky not to get a goal after he smacked a drive against the crossbar. Into the second half and Steve MacDonald played his Captains part when he once again found the net to try and haul Joes back in it. In Fact he had another chance soon after which went just wide. As Joes tried to push forward to get back into the game, Rangers made a quick counter attack and scored another to put the result firmly beyond doubt.
Miller 6 One of the keeper’s poorer displays for the Joes but in a season of great consistency he must be allowed a blip. Smith 6 Found the pace of the Rangers strike force difficulty top handle but looked more assured when moved into midfield. Lannon 7 Like his defensive partner Smith was run a bit ragged by the Rangers strike force and stuck to his task well Cowie 7 Steadied the ship when he returned to his traditional place in the hearty of defence. Treasurer 6 The big man seemed to struggle a bit in the midfield but put in a decent shift. Macdonald 7 The captain led by example as he continues to move up the 7’s scoring chart. Cameron 7 Another tireless display from the young lad and unlucky with his crossbar shot. C Mackay 6 Kept his place on the bench but needed to do a bit more when he came on to merit a return to the starting line-up Y Mackay 6 Can be pleased with his efforts after being out for so long. Budge 5 Fitness still lacking and the turkey is not gonna help it.
The Disco Boys don't feel like dancing Once again the seesaw form that has been Top Joes this season continued against the Disco boys of RG's. This week there was no charity either on or off the field. Indeed this must surely have been Joes' best result of the season so far. The fact that the team beat genuine title contenders against all adversity. On the plus side inspirational co-manager Cowie returned after having the runs last week. However on the downside Joes were without Les "Love Machine" Mackay, Mike Wilson, Yug Mackay, Sean Moodie, Aly Mackay, Gordie Murray and Murray Mackay but manager Cowie stated before the game that this could not be used as an excuse for a poor performance or result. Of course Joes were also without the lucky gem when he doesn't turn up that is William Smith. That'll be 2 no-shows and two Joes wins from Mr Smith, who incidentally was reported cruising the streets of Wick with a young woman while he should have been at Naver fighting the fight for the mighty Joes! A further boost for Joes was the appearance of two former Joes heroes, in fact, living legends. While Gigi Lowe watched from the warmth of his car, team sponsor Donnie Ola braved the conditions to take his place at the trackside. On the subject of legends it seems the comeback of the famous Take That in the charts is being surpassed by the comeback in the sevens world of Bruce Cormack who played a stormer at the back against RG's. Ably backed up by Ed Miller in the Joes nets whose concentration was most improved after realising his red Aberdeen hat (if you have seen it please call crime stoppers on 01847 892222) was not in fact in the lost and found at Naver dressing rooms. The game opened brightly and Joes were finding passes to a similar fashion as the Antarctic game. However this time it would be Joes who would get a bit of luck. With barely 4 minutes on the clock, the breakthrough, if somewhat fortunate, would come Joes' way. A move that started at the back with Lannon saw Cameron beat his man in midfield and find Mr T on the right flank, whose neat ball inside found Cowie. Kev took a touch and saw Sponge in space on the left. With a bit of space and Cormacks words ringing in his ears "low and hard", Sponge duly obliged and drilled the ball in low from just about the bye-line. The RG's keeper decided to clear first time but only managed to deflect the ball into his own net and spin round to fall on his arse and see the ball nestling nicely in the back of the net. Joes could hardly believe their luck but the heads were up and the back 2, or sometimes 3 were standing up to the League's top scorers. A mazy run from RG's Salim cam to an end with a shot richoeting off Cormack's shoulder and out for a corner. Another attack saw sponge doing well defensively and clearing the danger. With Lannon and Cormack basically getting in the way of everything RG's tried to throw at them combined with RG's trying to walk the ball into the net, the league's 2nd placed team were becoming increasingly frustrated. With about 7 minutes of the 1st half remaining Joes first substitution saw Cameron make way for Mackay. Shortly after a corner on the right was floated in by Mr T. With the RG's keeper flappin gat the cross and completely missing it the ball met the back of Steve Macdonald's head and found its way into the net. A comedy cut goal if ever there was one and poor Sponge wasn't sure whether to celebrate or not! It didn't matter as Joes now had a two goal cushion. The 2nd half saw RG's predictably have a lot of the possession as Joes were happy to sit back and soak up the pressure and try to hit on the break. Indeed it would have been foolhardy to attack gung ho whilst 2 goals to the good. Five minutes into the 2nd half saw Mr T get a well deserved rest with Archibald Cameron re-entering the fray. A busy time ensued for Archie with a deflection coming off him and hitting the bar as RG's poured forward before a chance at the other end saw a floated cross from Sponge on the left completely missed by the keeper and dropped at the feet of Arch. However his first time shot just went wide. Of course there was the usual cynical pulls by Cormack in the backs to the wall defending as well as the now common ball hoofed over the fence to play for time. even Cowie had a go and he went for height rather than distance as the ball definitely cleared the Floodlights! Sponge then made way for Mr T to return and with 5 minutes left Budge replaced Mackay who had had a fine game after coming off the bench. RG's then skied 3 efforts in quick succession as their attempts became more hurried and futile. In fact it was Joes who could have increased their lead but Budge was unable to finish a decent chance as the final minute drew in. A fine performance form all the lads and if consistency follows Joes are on a winner! Another good performance next Thursday against Thurso Rangers would round off 2006 nicely. Maybe another team bonding night could follow Thursday's game!
Ed – 8 Certainly not as busy as his last 2 games but made a number of fine saves. Concentration was better but apparently he still hasn't found what he was looking for...... Andy – 8 Must be the bargain of the season after his move from Rolls Royce for a Pint of Lager and a Packet of Crisps. Great bit of business from the managers. A fine display at the back again and always willing to do the Paul Telfer up the wing. No Point deducted for no-show on sat night as Mrs Lannon wouldn't let him out. Bruce – 9 Possibly his best game in the sevens for Joes. Kept the League's top scorer in his pocket all night. Was immense at the back and even had time to think he was Ed Miller by saving a couple with his hands............... Kev – 8 The big man let his team-mates down on Saturday night with his no-show but made up for it last night with a great display on the right of midfield. Sponge – 8 Played the Captain's part perfectly with two superbly taken goals! Now that he's been trained in the art of being a bit quicker with a kitty on a night out, he could be the finished article. Archie – 7 Fantastic work rate yet again and was dreadfully unlucky not to add to his solitary goal this season when the keeper dropped another cross. Point deducted for no-show on sat night. Calum – 7 Greatly improved performance after he came off the bench and looked dangerous up front. he'll be pushing for a start next week. Point deducted for no-show on sat night. Willie – 5 Gets a five for the five minutes he was on the field! Disappointed not to get a third for Joes when he really should have done better. Manager's Comment - Another tremendous battling team effort from the Joes based on a solid defence marshalled excellently by MOTM Bruce Cormack. Man of the Match - Aside from the fact he had a great match in defence, the cynical fouls, two headed clearances (surely my eyes deceived me?) and the fence beating clearance mean the man from Damside gets quite possibly his first ever MOTM, and probably his last...........
Its Charity night all the way from Joes On the night Joes handed over cheques totaling £700 to local charities, unfortunately the giving did not stop when Bob Wheat croft's whistle sounded. This was described by some as Joes’ worst performance of the season. That may be somewhat harsh given the fact two regulars were missing as well. There is also the minor point of Antarctic being one of the top 3 teams in the league and genuine title contenders. However Joes certainly made them look better by giving them time and space on the ball. With Co-Manager Cowie on the sideline for this one with a “slight” tummy bug and fellow Joes stalwart Wilson practising his "breathing" before the big arrival it was a big ask for Joes to come out of this one with anything. After a decent opening spell Joes fell behind from a corner. After Cameron did his best to pole-axe the Penguins keeper, Thistle broke forward and from the resulting corner Lannon was very unlucky to see his clearance come off the post and into the net. this was after the normally reliable Miller missed the cross ball. It was thought someone had shouted about a meal voucher to Miller to put him off whereas another possibility was something to do with the Lost and Found at Naver. However Joes were on down and and with it so did the heads. Slack play in midfield meant Antarctic could break and went two up. The roof had caved in on Joes. Unfortunately a third was added before half-time and Antarctic were on easy street. Into the second half and things did not improve too much. Stove MacDonald even looked tired in his captains role although the fact he didn't sleep in his own bed the Saturday before perhaps had something to do with this! The fourth Antarctic goal was yet again from Joes losing possession. This time a kick in fell straight to a Penguins player and Joes were 4 down and out. In fact it could have been worse but for 3 fine saves from Miller as well as a couple of goal line clearances from the veteran defender Cormack, who incidentally is not a student.... A disappointing night for Joes who never truly got into the game and the performance perhaps look swore after such a fine showing against Wick Celtic the previous week. However its onwards and upwards and hopefully some team bonding on Saturday night will mean an improved result against another of the league's top three this Thursday, Robbie and Georges disco boys.
Ed – 7 After a couple of howlers the lad from Buckies made some outstanding saves in the 2nd half to prevent an England Cricket score Andy – 8 Some great running in the defence in the 1st half, proving to be a very useful addition to the squad. Bruce – 7 came off just before half-time rather dizzy after Mckiddie running so many rings round him! Some fine defending in the 2nd half saved a more embarrassing scoreline. Kev – 6 Perhaps could have done with a little more movement but used his burly frame to joust with opponents. Calum – 6 Injury is possibly still affecting him. Sponge – 6 Nothing seemed to come off for him and caught in possession too many times. Archie – 6 Had little service to live off but certainly worked hard without much success. Daniel – 6 Difficult game to make his debut in but coped well. Wills – 6 He’ll be looking for a better performance on Saturday night….. Willie – 5 He’s looking for some glue for his foot and also a compass to find where the goals are for next week. Co-Managers Comment – “Shocking” Whether this comment from Cowie was about the match or his tummy bug is not confirmed.
CELTIC LEAVE IT LATE TO BREAK JOES HEARTS As the saying goes, "football's a funny old game". By the end of last night's match against the league leaders Joes were disappointed to have come out of the match with a point. Only 50 minutes earlier a respectable score while being on the losing side was all the most ardent of Joes supporters could have hoped for. Joes were boosted by the return of big Kev Treasurer and wee Andy Cameron after their romantic short break down in the city. The teams preparations were thrown into disarray before kick-off with the no-show of captain MacDonald. At first it was thought the hold up was due to him getting the armband stitched to his Joes top but Sponge confirmed he was in fact having a power nap before the game. Luckily his mother woke him up in time to make the bench. After a disappointing performance last week against Naver and Wick Celtic playing well at the top the omens were not good. However even after only 5 minutes of the game it could be seen Joes were in the mood for this one. Stout defending (and that's not a dig at Wilson's weight) combined with some decent passing play from Joes seemed to throw Wick Celtic out of their stride. In fact as the half wore on they were becoming more and more frustrated and long range efforts became the norm from them. One great effort saw Ed Miller parry the ball onto the post and was relieved to turn round and see the fall into his arms. Miller then had to be sharp off his line to clear a through ball. The sprint from Miller was definitely proof that his sprint practices in a local quarry have paid off. With about 10 minutes of the half remaining Manager Smith decided to swap MacKay for Sponge with Cameron making way soon after for Budge. Joes were continuing to hold their own and Celtic continued to make long range efforts as the first half headed to a close. A pass back to the Celtic keeper saw him hurry a pass to his nearest under pressure from Budge. When the keeper received the ball back he fluffed his clearance and it landed straight at the feet of midfield powerhouse Cowie. The co-manager sent the ball firmly into the bottom corner of the net and Joes went in at half-time a goal to the good. The second half was always going to be a tough one for Joes, where last ditch tackles were the order of the night. A fine counter attack from sub Smith saw him find fellow sub Budge but Celtic defender King made a last ditch tackle to deny what would surely have ended with a Joes goal.... Soon after Budge made way for Cameron and Lannon's replacement Cormack was having a fine game at the back although how he never saw yellow for a blatant shirt pull on a Celtic forward may always remain a mystery, not too mention his proud feat of managing a clearance over the extended height fence. It was clear by the puffed out chest that Cormack was particularly delighted with this piece of time wasting! Smith was trying to lead by example and made another burst forward as his improved form this season continues. With the clock ticking and Joes staring a famous victory in the face, a free-kick was awarded on the edge of the box. As the Joes faithful covered their eyes, Celtic managed to send one into the postage stamp corner with Miller having no chance. The dream had died or had it. a breakaway by Joes saw Sponge fire a chance just past as he tried to redeem himself for his late show. However it was not to be and Joes had to settle for a point. A fine team performance which all the3 lads can be delighted with. Unfortunately it gets no easier next week with Antarctic Thistle next up.
Miller (8) Fine performance from the black eyed Buckies Bull. Maybe not as busy as we thought he would be before the game still made a number of telling saves. Unfortunately may leave for pastures new after hearing there is no XMAS party for the Joes! Wilson (8) the heartbeat of the team last night with a stirring display. Must have encouraged his team mates with his lion heart display and found time to make a couple of decent runs from defence. Lannon (7) Put in a great shift at the back in the first half as he continues to look for his best position! Mackay (6) Possibly not fully recovered from his knee injury and seemed to be unnerved by the lat arrival of his captain Cowie (8) The look on his face when the ball hit the net was priceless. Obviously like the rest of us he though it would have ballooned over the bar as usual….. Treasurer (7) Big Kev as he is known to his team-mates. Quieter game by his high standards but put in a good shift and the extra weight work in the gym is really starting to show results on his physique..... Cameron (7) Ran around like a mad boy but once again he wasn't on the field when the Joes goal was scored……. Smith (7) - A couple of lung busting (literally) runs from the co-manager, can be very pleased with his contribution. Cormack (8) - The veteran defender is enjoying a new lease of life on a Thursday thanks to Lynsey's change of job. His best game in a Joes shirt so far this season. High rating is due to the fact he somehow managed to keep Joes top of the Crime League after avoiding a yellow for that "tug" Sponge (6)- Hopefully he's getting an alarm clock from Santa. Budge (5)- He's now gone from impact sub to just sub, poor show from the unfit front man Man of the Match as chosen by Howden's Kevin Cowie goes to - EDWARD MILLER better known as Iain Miller as he was christened.
Cowie's Comments - "Well done to all the lads, tremendous effort yet again. Perhaps unlucky not to win but at least got a point thanks to MOTM Ed Miller. Come on e Joes
Joes back to earth with a bump After their glory cup run Joes returned to league duty with a bump against a fired up Naver United side. With a few call-offs and late fitness tests, Joes co-managers, Smith & Cowie were left with some tough decisions. First up midfield powerhouse Treasurer was away at a Westlife concert along with regular striker Cameron. Andy was also attending an advanced driving course in Aberdeen whilst Kevin was undertaking a course in "how to win friends and influence people", which it seems he failed. On the plus side, own goal specialist Wilson was back as was veteran Cormack who had unbelievably been let off the leash again. However there were doubts about the fitness of keeper Ian Miller. Having recovered from a thumb injury, Miller had apparently picked up an eye injury on Saturday night from an unnamed liquor. After a late fitness test Miller was passed fit and deputy Lannon, who has been in more positions than Ron Jeremy this season was moved to a defensive berth. This was a match where Joes just weren't in from start to finish. Naver were the hungrier team and worked harder whilst Joes tended to give them too much space and in the end were punished. After Naver took the lead Joes did have an excellent chance to equalise but Budge, making his first start since the days of Richie (can't remember the surname) was nowhere near Sponge's excellent cross. Being neither quick or agile enough to make contact. Joes made it to half-time only 1 down after a string of fine saves by Miller. The second half saw Naver extend their lead while Steve MacDonald managed to grab Joes' very first yellow card of the season for swearing not once, not twice but three times. Tut Tut Steven, not how the team captain should behave. This obviously upset defender Wilson who nearly joined MacDonald in referee Makhouli's book. with Joes staring defeat in the face keeper Miller decided to take action. A mazy run saw him beat 4 or 5 Naver players but just as he was about to get his shot away, a last ditch tackle saw the ball out for a corner. With Miller deciding he was in unchartered waters and heading back to his goal, veteran Cormack waved him to stay in the box. as the corner came in Miller just missed it and with it went his chance for glory. A break soon after saw Naver grab a third goal to settle the match. Ratings and MOTM as voted for by Bruce Cormack Miller 6 Is it a kick in, is it a by kick? It doesn't
matter to this man who just runs with the ball. Did alright
overall in nets.
Cup Competition Final anguish as Joes lose out to Comm Midday on Saturday 18th November saw Joes kick off their quest for the Riverside Replica's Challenge trophy. With a number of notable call-offs even the most optimistic of Joes fans could not have expected their favourites to set the tournament alight. Indeed No.1 ed Miller was up in Bettyhill at a bagpipe recital, veteran defender Cormack was yet again away for a wedding dress fitting and seasoned stalwart Michael Wilson was decorating a nursery. Joes were left with a squad of only 8 with Andy Lannon coming in from the cold to take Miller's place in the nets and regular sub Will Smith making his first start in over 2 and a half years. Qualifying Round v Seaview A good start to the tournament saw Joes make the breakthrough first via an own goal. In fact they looked comfortable until the last moments of the match. A corner floated high to the back post saw Lannon under pressure from a Seaview attacker and the ball dropped into the net. No sooner had the ball touched the net than referee Nicol blew for full time. A penalty shoot-out ensued with a crisply taken left foot drive seeing Will Smith put Joes one up. Lannon nearly got to Seaview's first penalty and then Steve MacDonald netted a second for Joes. Lannon was the hero as he saved the 2nd Seaview penalty and a cool finish from Calum Mackay saw Joes win the shootout 3-1. Quarter Final v Staxigoe Utd What looked a daunting task for Joes ended in a 1-0 victory for the Thurso lads. In fact the 1st half of this game saw Joes play undoubtedly their best football of the whole season so far. The work rate of the midfield trio was tremendous and Kevin Treasurer notched the all-important goal just before half-time finishing off a fine passing move. at the back Cowie and Smith were standouts with Lannon making a number of good saves in the second half as staxigoe piled on the pressure looking for an equaliser. Joes held out to march onto the semis. Semi-Final v Groats Joes met the first division side in buoyant mood after their fine victory over Staxigoe. Confidence levels had risen and a further boost was the absence of Derek Munro who had been playing well for Groats earlier in the day. A tense first half ended in stalemate but a fine run from Steve Macdonald saw him breach the Groats rearguard in the second half. Joes held out to claim a final place against the experienced Comm in the final. Final v Comm Joes entered their 4th game of the day against a very experienced Comm side who themselves had only played a semi-final due to the absence of Lybster from the tournament. Joes held their own well against the former 1st Division champions during a tight first half. However a quick break from the Comm saw a three on one and Joes found themselves 1 down. The turnaround was hardly under way when the Comm doubled their lead. Joes could easily have caved in after that but fought bravely and can be delighted with their days' efforts.
A further boost for the team was Kevin Cowie receiving the Player of the tournament award. An award well deserved with Andy Lannon running Kevin a very close second. In fact Joes really could have had a number of contenders for the award.
Lannon (9) an excellent display from the 2nd choice keeper who made a number of telling saves throughout the day. Ed Miller may well be quaking in his boots. Cowie (9) Moved forward into the midfield berth by himself. Can be quietly pleased with his contribution. Smith (8.5) Must have been his finest hour in a Joes shirt. The regular sub put in a great shift at the back with his co-manager, excellent display. Macdonald (8) Fine finish against the Groats and worked back well throughout the day but was always an outlet when up front. Mackay (8) Such an improvement from the Swifts game. Work rate was much better and can be pleased with his contribution . Treasurer (7) Gets a seven for using the old "I have cramp" line and before the final as well! His team-mates thought he said "I think am camp". Great finish against Staxigoe. Cameron (8) top quality driver as the hurl down to Skins at night proved. Came off when asked which was a surprise. Unlucky not to get his name on the score sheet. Budge (6) yet again tried to claim the OG as his own, needs to improve his fitness.
Seaview stalemate but Joes climb the table The match report for the Seaview game is somewhat shortened due to the match reporter being somewhat under the influence and has forgotten most of the highlights of the game!!!! However a hard fought point saw Joes climb two places in the table. a notable point to the match was the inclusion of former Thurso player, Martyn Cook. It is hoped he will take his place in the line-up against fellow strugglers Naver United this week.
Miller the hero as Swifts get bum deal Ed Miller was Joe’s hero against Jnr Swifts as he kept the schoolboys at bay time and again last night. After missing Sunday’s training due to a “thumb” injury, there were concerns over the former Caithness Strongman’s fitness. However it all came good as Miller saved numerous certain goals with a number of areas of his anatomy. With their co-managers Cowie and Smith under increasing pressure the Joes needed to pull something out of the hat last night. Indeed it seems the pressure on Smith has become too much as the co-manager has apparently done an Ivanauskus and it is not known when he will return. As the match kicked off last night the Joes were under no illusions that a loss meant dropping to the foot of the league table. There was a whirlwind from the young swifts and Joes were on the back foot. It got worse after only two minutes when Joes found themselves one down. The young lads were passing the ball well and their energetic running saw Joes struggling to cope. The defence of Wilson and the veteran Cormack were holding their own but needed all the help they could get from their midfield trio of Cowie, MacDonald and Mackay. Joes were simply being outplayed in the first 10 minutes and Swifts were very unlucky not to add to their lead. An injury to Mackay saw Lannon take his place on the right of midfield. Cowie then had a great chance to level but unfortunately fluffed his effort with a clear sight of goal. It really did seem easier to score than manage to balloon the ball over. This seemed to inspire Joes and on 14 minutes they got an undeserved equaliser. Archibald Cameron showed coolness and composure to level the game. Lannon was then replaced by Mackay who had recovered from his injury but young Andy was soon back in the fray replacing the tiring Cormack. A crunching tackle from Wilson saw him remove his opponents boot but he did touch the ball as well. Budge then replaced Cameron but Joes again went behind as Swifts pressure once again told. However it wasn’t a lead they would hold onto long. A good run from Macdonald who was putting in a great shift on the left saw him exchange passes with Budge. When MacDonald drove his cross in, Swifts defender Reid did a “Caldwell” and the ball ended in the back of the net. As half-time came; Joes knew how lucky they were to be in on level terms. Half-time saw no changes and Joes entered the second half with the inspirational words of Cowie ringing in their ears. 5 minutes in and the knackered Budge was replaced by Mackay and soon after an injury to Captain MacDonald saw Cormack slot into the left midfield role. A crunching tackle on Lannon ended with him being booked after he remonstrated with his attacker and the 7’s very own Graham Poll, John Areosmith, saw fit to book the Joes player but surprisingly not the young Swifts offender. The Joes were visibly tiring now and it looked like the younger, fitter Swifts were going to go on and win the game. As the clock ticked down it looked like a draw was the best Joes could hope for. A further change for Joes saw Mackay being replaced by Budge and a great cross ball from Cowie saw the Swifts defender miss the ball and Budge was on hand at the back post to volley it home. The Swifts were visibly shaken having gone behind in a match they had dominated for so long. For the Joes, they couldn’t believe their luck. Now it was a backs to the ball last 8 minutes and but for the heroics of Miller in the Joes nets, Joes would have struggled to keep a point. Miller was using his arms, legs, head and even his backside to keep the schoolboys out. However in the closing minutes the game could be summed up by Joes attempting to run down the clock and the Swifts losing their discipline slightly. Their passing began to waver and Joes held out for their first victory of the season. Although outplayed in parts, their was determination and spirit, plus a togetherness which saw Joes come from behind twice, usually an unheard of occurrence! Bring on the Seaview, the Joes are on the march up the table, well for now anyway. Man of the Match – Ed Miller, after a shaky first 10 minutes, the Buckies Bull pulled a string of top drawer saves out of the hat.
Miller (8) thankfully got over his thumb injury; however whether he will make training this Sunday would depend on his young lady being in Caithness for the weekend. Wilson (7) marvellous tackle to take the lad’s boot and put the ball out of play, brave display at he back. Cormack (7) Struggled for pace but hasn't he always, but fought well and played his part when asked to take the midfield berth. Thanks goes to Lynsey for letting him out this week. Macdonald (7) One of his most hard-working displays. The Captain did a power of running and the team missed him when he went off injured. Mackay (6) Early injury did him no favours and struggled to find the top form we have seen from him this season. Cowie (7) Moved forward into the midfield berth by himself. Can be quietly pleased with his contribution. Cameron (7) the monkey is off his back as he finally broke his duck this season. Lannon (7) asked to play a number of positions and didn’t let anyone down. Budge (6) tried to claim the OG as his own and was lucky with the winner.
Co-manager Cowie’s Comments -Oh well, very pleased with result, performance an effort. Great spirit shown to come back twice.
Cup Competition Joes show fight but its defeat again On a cold and blustery Saturday morning, Joes began the long road in their quest to lift the BNES Challenge Cup. After 25 minutes of pulsating action, it was the Riverside Replica's Challenge trophy left in their view. Antarctic started the game up the slope with the wind against them but came at Joes. However the makeshift defensive pairing of Cormack and Wilson were handling it well and Joes began to come into the match. Stevie MacDonald made a couple of good runs with Archibald Cameron having a stonewall penalty claim turned away by referee Aero smith. On this showing Aero Smith should surely be refereeing at a higher level. Calum "Cantona" then had a couple of efforts just past the post. To rub salt in the Joes wounds, the Penguins got a free kick soon after for a very soft push. This seemed to turn the tide back to the Penguins. Soon after they broke the deadlock and inevitably the Joes heads went down. Although as half-time approached, Coach Smith on the sidelines said he was pleased with his charges and felt they had picked up on some of his own personal fighting spirit. There were no changes at half-time but a few minutes into the second half with Joes 2 down, Smith decided to replace the tiring Cormack with himself and Cameron made way for Budge. Unfortunately the changes had no effect as the Joes were unable to get any goals back. As the final whistle blew, Joes were left to reflect on what might have been had that penalty been awarded. As the draw was made afterwards, Joes have a tie against Seaview in the next round on Saturday 18th November. TOP JOES 0 - 2 Antarctic Thistle
Thanks to Bruce Cormack for the following:-
Ed Miller 6 very little the best keeper in
sevens history could have gone for either goal. Well apart from close
his legs or stay on his line.....
Mike Wilson 6 solid performance from the
youngest of the veteran pairing at the back. Hit a couple of passes
into the other pitch but solid defensively.
Bruce Cormack 6 had
a few choice words for the referee and the guy with the monobrow. Solid
tackle on the Ed's cousin. Typically subbed.
Kevin Treasurer 6 still to show the form
he did in the elevens - maybe this is a lack of respect for the current
"managers"?
Calum Cantona 6 a player with a lot of
ability, needs to find his best position to be of real benefit to the
team. Injured towards the end but kept on the field by manager Smith.
Stevie MacDonald 6 He has square pants.
Unlucky with a couple of opportunities.
Archibald Cameron 6 Fought hard and
tracked back more than any of the midfielders. Typically subbed.
Willie Budge 6 looked lively. After the
match got underway he put in a decent shift too.
Sir William Smith 6 looked podgy. Battled
well after entering the field of play, sounds like last Saturday
night....
Man of the Match - The man of the match as chosen by the cup draw specialist Willie Budge of Top Joes FC is Mike Wilson, who not only had to contend with two different defensive partners but made some crunching challenges when needs must.
Coach Smith Comments - I've come through a
bad week and hoped the lads would have taken on some of my "fighting"
spirit from last weekend. Unfortunately it wasn't enough to see us
topple the Penguins. I'll remember the water for Thursday, honest.
3 Legged Hangover for Joes The hangover from the 3 Legged race seemed to follow Joes after a disappointing result against Staxigo United. On a typical Caithness 7's night for football, strong wind and lashing rain, Joes took to the field hoping for their first win of the season. By the end of the 50 minutes, it seemed Joes should have done an "Antarctic", sit at home in the warmth and still lose 3-0! Only some players could be forgiven for having a hangover from Saturday night's charity marathon. Stand up the co-manager, Wills Smith. Having been home and tucked up in bed by 10.30pm with a hot water bottle, the Joes supporters could quite rightly have been forgiven for expecting a better show from Cart man. The same could be said for Joes veteran Bruce Cormack, who produced a no-show last night. Unconfirmed reports were that Cormack was actually still finishing the 3 legged. Perhaps its just a coincidence his wife to be has her only night off on a Thursday..... As the game kicked off Staxigo came out of the blocks quickly with Joes looking off the pace and slightly lacklustre. Indeed Miller was called upon in the first minute and made a good block. Staxigo continued to turn the screw for the first 10 minutes but Joes slowly took the game to them. The midfield trio of Treasurer, "Cantona" and Sponge bob were doing a lot of running with Cameron fighting a tough battle up front. Joes were limited to long range efforts but were keeping possession well. Slightly more passing may have been able to see Joes open the scoring. Unfortunately it was Staxigo who took the lead and against the wind in the 1st half the best chance saw a header from Wilson fly just past. After getting himself to near the top of the scoring league, sponge Macdonald felt the need to knock Joes off the top of the Crime Count League after a vicious challenge on a Staxigo attacker. Having seen two men sent off in the precious game by referee Makhouli the Joes bench were somewhat relieved to see only the yellow administered to Sponge, the first yellow of the season for Joes. With the clock running down to half-time Treasurer took a knock and was replaced by Budge. His first touch in the game saw him clean though on the keeper but a weak shot saw Joes go in one down at half-time. The second half saw Joes still playing well but unable to get an equaliser and in fact it was Satxigo who made a counter attack and put themselves 2-0 up. Worse was to follow as Joes found themselves further behind. It was time for change. Joes needed beefing up and Smith came on for Sponge with Cowie pushing up in midfield. Joes were still being restricted to long range efforts and their short passing was virtually non-existent. Budge saw a half chance come off the bar but it seemed to be one of those nights and Joes were left to rue missed opportunities and went home with nothing except a drenching. it pains me to say it but maybe we are missing Moodie in the midfield. Nah, I'll delete that before I publish the page. Top Joes 0 - 3 Staxigo Utd Ratings and Man of the Match
Ed 6
Some excellent saves and couldn't be faulted for any of
the goals
Cantona 6 A
number of good shots and worked well COWIE'S COMMENTS - "Disappointed that we are still awaiting our first competitive win of the season. Obviously the pressure is building on Wills and myself but we feel we can turn it around"
Another Double Sponge but JGC roar back for a point With a new surface at Naver, Joes were hoping to kick-start their season against the men from Harpsdale. JGC were sporting their new strips but it was the in-form Steven MacDonald who was to shine in the first half. Joes were again without a string of seasoned pro's, namely Lesley Mackay, Shaun Moodie and Bruce Cormack. Cormack it seems is increasingly busy with wedding arrangements and was busy attending a dress fitting evening, whilst Moodie is away to be married and big Les is looking of r girl to marry. The experience of these stalwarts would have been invaluable after Joes raced into a 2 nil lead. The Sponge man continued his great form of late with a double, pouncing on two JGC defensive errors either side of half-time. Sadly Joes couldn't keep the two goal cushion and after gifting JGC a goal back, the welders were given enough encouragement to think they could get an equaliser. Unfortunately they managed an equaliser and Joes had to settle for a share of the spoils. Top Joes 2 - 2 JGC Ratings and Man of the Match
Ed 6
A big weekend in Aberdeen perhaps seen him take his eye
offf the ball...... Co-Manager Smith's Comments:- No comment
Sponge at the Double as Disco boys take the points On a super night for football at Naver, Joes were put to the sword by one of this year's title favourites. A late brace from Sponge MacDonald put a better picture on this game for Joes who for long spells were outplayed by the Disco boys. However Joes were not without their chances. A magnificent turn from returning veteran Cormack saw him charging at full pelt toward goal but was just beaten to the chase by the Rg's keeper who managed to clear. A great chance for the leveller after RG's had taken a deserved lead after a sustained spell of pressure. Having hit the post and then the bar the lads were lucky not to be further behind by half-time. RG's were certainly pushing men forward which left space at the back. Young Andy Cameron tried to capitalise on this and made a good turn and closed in on goal only to see his shot hit the side netting. This was after a tactical switch saw Smith replace the tiring Cormack with Lannon who dropped into midfield with Cameron moved up front. However some stout defending from Cowie and Wilson with Miller pulling a few top drawer saves out the bag meant RG's were frustrated in their efforts to forge further ahead. With half-time saw some renewed hope from Joes and manager Smith made his third change of the night with Budge replacing Cameron. The lads went out for the second half in buoyant mood being only a goal down. However straight from the kick-off, RG's went up the field with some great passing play and doubled their advantage. The roof seemed to cave in on Joes from then and they were soon 3 down and then 4 down as RG's got into their stride. Budge had a couple of efforts he really should have done better with and Cowie managed to sky a shot as Joes tried to make their way back into the game. Budge was replaced by Cameron and Smith entered the fray at the back for Joes with Cowie pushing into midfield. Suddenly Joes hit a purple patch with a corner being nodded into the net by Sponge and then he managed to grab his third of the season with a spectacular ricochet and deflection which someone managed to hit the back of the net. However time was against the Joes and they ended the match somewhat disappointed not to have scored more whilst at the same time glad the three which hit the woodwork for RG's had not ended in the back of the net. Top Joes 2 - 4 RG's Ratings and Man of the Match supplied by Bruce Cormack
Ed 6 Got over his photo posing incident in Skinandis
to COWIE'S COMMENTS - "Good to see Spongebob continuing his scoring form from last season but the Joes need to recapture the spirit which saw us sit proudly at the top of the league this time last season"
Swotting Sponge saves the day for Joes Top Joes second game of the season saw a spirited comeback against the Penguins kick-started by Steven “Sponge” MacDonald. Having recently received a Caithness 7’s rule book for his birthday Sponge took full advantage of a slip by the Penguins keeper. The Joes were two behind and as the keeper set the ball down and thus it being “live”, young Macdonald pounced to pass the ball into the net. Whilst his team-mates assumed he would be booked by referee Wheatcroft, the silver haired whistler signalled a goal! The fight back was on and Joes rallied to get their first point of the season and first under the management duo of Cowie and Smith. However this was a far cry from the pre-match build up which saw co-manager Smith struggling to field a team. A host of Joes “legends” were unavailable. Firstly keeper Miller called off due to a knee injury sustained during a trampoline display and first choice striker Cormack was escorting his mother to a Daniel O’Donnell concert in Inverness. Sean Moodie was being Sean Moodie while Les Mackay was getting a hair cut. The co-managers decision to let Butch Dunbar go during the close season looked to have come back to bite them until Smith managed to get Kris Smith as a trialist between the sticks as they are related. In a fairly even first half Joes were giving as good as they got and certainly came in at half-time disappointed to be a goal down. In all fairness it was a fairly soft goal as the Antarctic forward was allowed to run through virtually unchallenged in an uncharacteristic lapse by Joes. However the heads did not go down and a fine take down and run from Lannon on the right saw his powerful effort parried by the keeper. It landed at the feet of Cantona look-alike Calum Mackay who drove a powerful effort which looked a definite goal only for the ball to be cleared off the line. Wilson was then lucky not to see yellow after a challenge which was described by the referee as “you were right up the back of him then”. The lone striker Cameron then tried a somersault come kung fu kick at the Naver fence which unfortunately resulted in absolutely nothing. Joes had probably 50/50 in terms of possession but just couldn’t find an equaliser before half-time. The second half saw Antarctic slowly take control of the game and when they went two up inside 5 minutes of the restart the alarm bells were ringing on the Joes bench. The heads were dropping and Smith was doing a bit of head scratching. The co-manager decided as the game was lost anyway he would replace the tiring Lannon with Budge who moved up front with Andy Cameron dropping back into midfield. Mackay was then replaced by Smith which saw another tactical change with Cowie moved into midfield and Smith the defensive anchor alongside Wilson. However it was the midfield dynamo MacDonald who would turn this game on its head. Not known for his quick thinking, Sponge made the Penguins keeper pay for his mistake and the Joes were back in the match. With Antarctic becoming more and more nervous at the back a supposed shot from Cowie which was going well wide was controlled by Budge who had the easiest of tap-ins to level for Joes. With the game on a knife edge, both teams were going for glory in the final 5 minutes. A good break from Joes saw a slack pass from Budge intercepted by a Penguins defender. The quick break meant a great save from keeper Smith was required to keep the Joes level. In a frantic final couple of minutes both teams had chances to grab the 3 points with Will Smith going closest for Joes. However a share of the spoils was probably deserved.
Top Joes 2-2 Antarctic Starting Team Smith – The trialist was playing the first of two games last night and didn’t disappoint. No chance with either Penguin goals and made some fine saves. Good distribution. (8) Cowie – a couple of goal saving tackles and did well when moved into central midfield berth, could this be his new position? (7) Wilson – chasus, no nonsense defending yet again. (7) Macdonald – Thankfully he knows the rules of sevens, great finish. Tireless running and stronger on the ball this season. (9) Mackay – Brilliant shot cleared off the line and took some heavy challenges (7) Lannon – Unlucky not to open his account for Joes in 1st half and very useful addition to the team (7) Cameron – Young Andy worked his socks off up front and then in midfield (7) Subs Smith – The Co-manager is taking to his new job like a duck to water, nearly got the winner when his pile driver towards the end. (6) Budge – Has been on holiday for 2 weeks and it showed. (6) Punter without shin pads – Unfortunately didn’t get on as he had no shin pads. (5)
Northern Sands Man of the Match – If only for his hours of swotting – Steven “Sponge” MacDonald
Co-Managers Comments “Battling qualities shown from the Joes once again. Inspired by great alertness from Justin, the Joes are on the up" Kev Cowie
Wick Sheppard’s round up the Top Joes Boys Top Joes 7’s squad has been all change over the summer, Martin ‘Yug’ Mackay off to college, Kenny ‘Weasel’ Sharp moving to Aberdeen. Probably the biggest news was the transfer of Goalkeeper David ‘Butch’ Dunbar to Robbie and Georges (RG’s) Team on a free. The former runner-up in the 2nd Division Player of the year had become unhappy after losing the goalkeepers jersey to Ed Miller a couple of seasons ago. There have been a few new faces brought in to bolster the current squad; they include Top Joes 11’s players Kevin Treasurer, Andrew ‘Archie’ Cameron and free agent Calum Mackay. To the match That starting line-up of Ed Miller in goals, a defensive partnership of Mikey Wilson and co-manager Kev Cowie, a midfield three of Spongy, Ian Coghill and Calum Mackay, with Bruce Cormack being given the job of doing the running in the lone striker role. On the bench were Andy Lannon, Wills Smith, Matthew Maycock and George Mackay. The game started evenly with both teams creating good chances, only to be stopped by some top class goalkeeping. Spongy was Joes main threat coming close to breaking the Naver House windows on a couple of occasions. First Half changes saw Maycock replace Cormack up front and Lannon come on in the midfield for Mackay. Nearing the end of the first half it was Wick Celtic who drew first blood, with Darren Sheppard curling a left foot shot passed the out stretched Ed Miller and in to the top corner. Half-time Top Joes 0 – Wick Celtic 1 The second half was again a close fought battle, neither team really ha d may chances to score, the game did start to heat up a bit with Wilson and Coghill getting involved in tussles. Calum Mackay rejoined the midfield in place of Lannon about 10 minutes into the second half but Joes could still not break the Celtic defence, which seemed to be winning every ball. Wick killed off the game when Mark Sheppard scored with a low drilled shot from about 15 yards with somehow found it was through a load of bodies and in to the bottom left hand corner. George Mackay and Wills Smith replaced Spongy and Maycock for the last couple of minutes but could not change the Wick Celtic domance in the game. Good luck to the Wick Celtic team this season because on this performance they may well be Div 1 next year. Man of the Match Report by Will Smith
Last Update 07/05/2011 |